Thank god for the death of today

I feel as though I should say everything straight up. School this year is bullshit. I tried to break away from the church kids a little just so I could breathe. The opposition I got in return was devastating.
I made an extremely good friend this year, and yes, things didn't go as planned, but I still, there's no one else I feel I can talk to in person as I can to him. The problem: the church kids (my brother and cousins mostly) hate him. They think that he's 'taking me away from the church' and that's not one bit true. The things that happen to me are all by my hand. I wish they could understand that. One of my best friends and cousins actually told me that, that he was taking me away. I didn't know what to tell her. I mean atm, I want to stay in the church so they don't hate me, and so I don't loose all my freedom. I told that to Audrey and she got really mad at me. She said that I won't stay if I keep hanging out with him. I don't know if that's true.
I just want to do my own thing and I'm so distressed by the fact that if he even says hi to me they all give me the look of death and Audrey says "Molly I thought you weren't going to do that anymore." I don't know what was wrong with me today, but I was really depressed. Every time someone asked me what was wrong I began to cry. I cried in front of my whole French class (good thing I have bangs) and then in lunch, so I put my head on the table. She thinks it's because of him. I don't know.
I feel pulled in both directions. There's so much stress at home all the time and so much pressure from my family and from my church friends, and then this. I thought I couldn't deal with it, but dad wont let me leave and go somewhere else. I gave up trying to explain/describe it, because I cannot. It's so much more than that, and I don't really know what to say about it. I feel so angry and annoyed and broken and sad. I've considered several things, but I know I can't do that. Not to the people I love. I just wish they would get it that I just want to breathe. I need him as a friend and I need the litte 'worldly' (as they would put it) freedom that I have.
Today was horrible.
I came home from school, did the dishes and went to sleep. I couldn't do anything else. And my dad came and woke me up for choir. At first I just started crying and I refused to go. I felt like a child, really. He told me this:
"Look, sometimes life gets rough, but you have to stop worrying about all the little things and just live." I guess I'm going to do that. I'm not going to worry about pleasing my church friends and what they'll think. I'm going to do what makes me happy. At the moment, I'm going to save myself.