Today I woke up not feeling any such thing in particular. I didn't decide that I would have a good day and I did not assume that it would be a bad one. I simply woke myself up after a restless night of half sleep-half awake nightmares; something in which I experience almost every night.
I dressed myself and went to the gym. Like I've mentioned before, it's a rewarding feeling to work out and I very much like it. I love being able to listen to my music, my mind mulling over unimportant concepts.
Sometimes the things I think about are in fact highly important to me. Then I wonder, does it matter? I'm simply going to die one day anyhow. Is there a point to living, to learning? I suppose there is. I do not care to leave a mark on society, but know that I lived well. Sometimes I do not even care for that.
I felt sorry myself particularly so today, because of the relationship I have with my younger sister. We've never been close friends, but I quite love her because she is my sister. How can I not? But there is something about our relationship, something very unlikeable. It seems as though I can't get along with her no matter how hard I try. I wont pin it all on her, because there must be a fault of mine, though I can't see it very much. I try to be nice to her, I really do. The other night she randomly listed all the things she hates about me during supper. I wanted to cry, because most of those things I am working on or I cannot control, really. I dare say it's jealousy towards me. I don't want it to be that way.
I don't have much else to say now. I leave tomorrow for Europe. Goodbyes..