healing.

It is strange, the ways we choose to heal. I found a person who appreciates my every aspect, the good and the bad. He isn't afraid of my moods, and is fearless when it comes to my eating disorder. He likes talking on the phone, doing weird things, and is content to sit and talk about life. He is everything that you weren't. I still cry at night, and I still miss you. But I let go. Sometimes letting go is the only thing one can do, so I did. With complete honesty, I can say my life is better than it was with you. It is strange how we choose to heal. We try by covering up the pain, trying to forget the past. Somehow I'm confident that it will work for me.
On the other hand, it's almost the weekend. I ordered a new phone on Tuesday night, and it should come today or tomorrow. So far, the mail and the UPS have come with packages for other people and none for me. It's like a big tease! Tomorrow night I get to see Alex. His college is about an hour and a half away, so I see him on the weekends. It works out very well for us. We will probably see a movie or something. I don't really mind what, it will be nice to see him. On Saturday, I'm going to see Dream Theater in Albany, which is about three hours away. I'm going with my papa, two sisters, and Joe. People find it very strange that I'm going to a progressive metal concert with family members.
Kathryn and I have shared a room for about a year and a half now, and we've had very little space. At the present, we have two mattresses pushed together on the floor, with a little bit of walking room. We've finally convinced our dad to take down the sauna, since it's never used. I'm not sure that it's even hooked up. We're very excited for that to happen, and have decided that we will re-paint our room, hopefully forest themed:D
All in all, life is going very well. I start nursing courses next semester, so my life will become very busy. I finally have new friends. For the first time in about five months, I feel as though my life is finally beginning to come together. I hope it is not like last time, where I knew very well that it would come crashing down. I'm praying that this time it will withstand me: my moods, eating disorder, everything. In a way the past chapter of my life's collapse was not my fault, but when I look at how everything went, I see that it could very easily have been my doing. I refuse to let that happen this time. This is new. It is perfect. I will not let it slip from my grasp.