Actual life..haha.

Maybe it's time to write about my actual life, instead of making parallels through writing. Well, I went to see a therapist today and I hated it. She made me talk about things I hate discussing, in front of my mom. I felt humiliated and disappointing. She then gave me a pamphlet for partial impatient care that I do NOT want to attend. I got so angry and embarrassed by it, I decided that I'm going to do everything in my power to get better by myself. I don't want to be special. I don't want to be like that, so I decided that I'm done. I'm going to be better no matter how hard it is.
I said goodbye to Austin.. again. I don't expect any type of reader to understand it fully. I'm sad and I feel like my heart's been savagely ripped apart. I knew it was time to let go. I don't think letting go is sudden, but it's a process that takes time. We've been broken up for over four months now, and sometimes it feels like jut yesterday he broke up with me. People tell me I'm dramatic and to just forget him, but they don't understand the kind of love I felt for him. I don't expect them to. Each love is individual. I think only he and I understood it. I still don't completely get why he let me go, but it's over now. A part of me is happy that I'm forcing myself to do this. It's all I can do. I know that if he can't love all of me, he's not the right person. It kills to say that.
School is going well. I am passing everything, and I work hard to get all my work done. I got approved to start nursing courses next semester and I'm terrified. One thing, I will feel AWESOME in those scrubs(: I also made some friends. I have two pretty close friends from Crouse, and met some pretty awesome people from Onondaga community college through my friend Kerry.
What else.. well I haven't run in about a week. During track I pulled my right glute/upper hammie area and I didn't stop running. It ended up being permanently damaged and I strained it again last week. It hurt terribly, so I've spent the past week thinking of different things to do. I've kept up with my yoga, biked, walked, jumped rope, and did lunges (which hurt).
I'm off to attempt running right now. Wish me luck!