March

I got my first tattoo two days after I turned eighteen. It says "Trying to believe the scars unseen, the tears washed clean," with a feather. Imagine that. My family was utterly disgusted and disappointing in me. Imagine that. I love it. I feel as though it stands for all the struggles I've been through, and I feel no regret.
School is still going terribly for me. I'm trying to push myself through, but I fear I will not make it. I've applied to a four year school, but have not heard back from them. I think it's time I apply to other places. I do not want to return to Crouse. I'll do almost anything to avoid it.
Spring is here! Although it's only mid-march, it's nearly 70 degrees outside, and absolutely beautiful. I'm on Spring Break. I wouldn't actually call it a break, though. I get up, run, clean, study, and hang around with my sister. I suppose it is kind of a break.
I'm still alone. Sometimes it bothers me to not have anyone to talk to everyday and say goodmorning and goodnight to, but what am I to do? I can only wait. I feel like I really like someone, but he's my ex's good friend, and he has a girlfriend. If we ever ended up together, it would destroy our circle of friends. In my mind, it's not worth it. I can only wait. I don't understand why we feel such torture in being alone.
That is all I have to say. My life is as dull as when I last updated this.